Ouch

I don't even think "ouch" is a good word to describe what I was feeling this past Sunday, but it will have to do.

Warning: I talk about peeing in this post. If that is TMI for you...move along now. :)

I woke up at 4:15 on Sunday morning feeling an urgent need to pee. I got up, went into the bathroom, and did just that. I was pretty groggy, so I kind of just went about my, um, business, without a lot of thought. I got back into bed, closed my eyes, and tried to go back to sleep. However, I had the same urge to pee...again. Hmm. Strange. I got up to pee...again...and this time nothing came out. At this point, I started thinking that perhaps my body might be trying to pass the kidney stone that had taken up residence in my right kidney for the past couple of years.

My mind started reeling back to 9 months ago, which was the last time I had the stone 'checked'. At that time, the diagnosis was that the stone was 3mm in size, and that I should easily be able to pass it on my own (perhaps without even knowing).

Well, this business of having to pee but not being able to was really getting to me. So...I went downstairs and got a large glass of water. I chugged it, then I sat on the couch for awhile to see if perhaps the water would help me pee.

In the meantime, Ella woke up crying. I went up to lay down with her, but she would have nothing to do with going back to sleep. I was really starting to feel uncomfortable, so I brought her into bed with us to try and get her to go back to sleep. Ryan was already in our bed (we've been having trouble lately with kids ending up in our bed at night), so James got up to bring him back to his own room. He noticed the light was on downstairs, and so I explained my peeing woes to him when he came back. He just kind of grunted at me and got back into bed. I should mention that he wasn't being rude...he just REALLY doesn't wake up easily. With Ella squirming, and my level of comfort declining by the minute, I decided to go back downstairs. I assumed that since James didn't come down to check on me, that he had gone back to sleep. At about 5:15, I started having pain in my lower back on my right side. This kind of confirmed for me that I was probably passing this kidney stone. Great.

The pain kept growing in intensity, and I was still unable to pee. I paced around the kitchen, knelt down on the floor, drank some more water, tried to sit, went to the bathroom (um, not pee), and then finally I went upstairs to wake James up. I. was. miserable.

I tapped James on the shoulder and asked him to come downstairs (so not to wake up Ella). He took a few minutes. When he came downstairs he walked right by me and turned on the coffee pot (really?). He walked right by me because he didn't see me. I was on the floor, on my hands and knees, huddled over the register that blows the heat into our kitchen. He turned and looked at me, and then he knew this pain was real. I wasn't kidding. In typical James fashion, he got right to business. He asked me my symptoms, started looking them up online, and then confirmed to me that yes, I was probably passing a kidney stone. Yes, thank you. I figured as much. I told him to call his Mom and Dad and tell them that they need to come and watch the kids, because I didn't want to take them to the ER. While he was on the phone, I was in the bathroom...throwing up. I didn't know how I was going to survive (and I'm not being dramatic) waiting an hour for them to show up. So, James called our neighbor and asked if he could come and sit with our kids for just a half hour until his Mom got there. He did. We made our way to the ER at 8:00 in the morning.

I had to sign in when I got there, and I remember writing 8:05. There was nobody around. NOBODY. I stood up, I sat down, I walked around...barely. Finally, someone came to check me in. A lovely aid who said "Welcome to the ER" with a big fat smile on her face. If I had the strength to punch her in the face (and I'm not a violent person), then I would have gladly done so. Really? Welcome? Um, thanks...because this is really where I want to be on a Sunday morning. She proceeded to SLOWLY type in my information, making a joke with each answer I would give her, and telling me to slow down as I spelled my name and she typed it all in with one finger. Seriously? Take some typing lessons, lady.

Once I was checked in, they got to me pretty quickly. The doctor came right in to see me, and upon asking my symptoms thought that I was probably right in my self diagnosis. They gave me some strong pain meds, and wheeled me in to have a CT scan to have a closer look. The CT scan confirmed that my 3 mm kidney stone had doubled in size in the 9 months since I last had it checked, and it was, in fact, stuck at the "uv junction" where the kidney meets the bladder. The urologist on call said that 80% of people with a 6 mm kidney stone are able to pass it on their own, so I would be (4 hours later) sent home with a prescription for more pain meds and a little jar and strainer to pee in to hopefully catch the stone. I still hadn't peed since 4am.

Once I was discharged, I got up to get dressed...and felt no pain. "Wow", I thought. "Those must be some serious pain meds." Upon reading the discharge paperwork on my way home, I read that once the stone passes into the bladder, the pain should be gone. "Hmm", I thought again to myself. We stopped at the pharmacy to fill my prescription. Still no pain. "Hmm." We got home and I explained my adventure to my mother-in-law. Still no pain. "Hmm." I excused myself to go to the bathroom, as I REALLY needed to pee. I took my little jar (which I was to pee into) and my strainer (which I was to dump said pee into) and I went to the bathroom. I filled the jar (and dumped into strainer). I filled the jar again, and dumped it. I repeated this process 4 or 5 times (I told you...I REALLY had to go). Much to my surprise...there sat the kidney stone in my little strainer. AMEN. I had passed it.

I'm thinking that I should have peed upon leaving the ER, so I could have then left my little present with them. But...then I wouldn't have these pictures to show you. That's how nice I am...I waited until I got home, just so I could show you what caused me such misery. Don't act like you don't want to see them...you know you do. Unless, of course, you have passed a stone before...then you might not.

My "tools"


The stone. I forgot to edit these to enlarge the photo...but you get the idea

Looks tiny and innocent, doesn't it?

Phew. When they say that passing a kidney stone is excruciating...they aren't kidding. It was the worst pain I have ever felt. It was worse than the pains of child birth. WORSE, I say. For all of you women who have had children...you know that is some serious pain.

I am feeling much better now. However, I still have some twinges (is that a word) of pain here and there on my right side. I am going to the urologist tomorrow to take in my stone and to have a follow up appointment. Hopefully all will be back to normal soon.

Christmas 2010

Christmas was a bit different for us as a family this year, as James had to work the entire weekend. Due to that fact, we visited with family both before and after the holiday...stretching our Christmas festivities out for almost an entire month! Well, it seemed that way, anyway.

We went to James' parent's house the Thursday before Christmas and celebrated with them as well as James' brother and his family. The kids enjoyed visiting with their older cousins!



Ryan and Grandma (don't mind Ryan's fingers in his mouth...we recently went to the dentist and found out he has 2 loose teeth...he's just wiggling, here :))

Ella excited to be opening presents


Ryan, too


The older Carlson cousins from left to right: Michael (12), Joshua (16), and Christopher (14)

Ella 'helping' Uncle Dan (no, not James with a mustache) open his presents

Though James had to work, his schedule was such that he was able to be home with us Christmas morning. We all slept until about 7:30, then awoke to the face of a sweet little boy, "blankies" held up to his face in anticipation, asking if we could go downstairs to see if Santa had been here. He, of course, had. We woke Ella up and went down the stairs as a family. Ryan ran by the tree and all the gifts and went straight to the plate of cookies we had set out the night before. He exclaimed with the pure joy that "Santa DID eat the cookies we left for him!"

Our Christmas tree!



Checking out the "loot"

This is the first year Ella has been interested in opening presents!

Once the presents were opened, we enjoyed a delicious brunch and just soaked up our time together before James had to go into work. The rest of the weekend was pretty low key...kind of nice, actually.

The kids were really excited about Santa this year. I know there are many Christians out there who don't like to "celebrate" with Santa and such, but I really think it is harmless, and it is such a short lived experience for children to believe in the magic (not as in black magic) of Santa. We did, however, choose to talk a lot this season about the fact that while we open presents on Christmas, that the real reason we celebrate is because of the presence of Jesus and how He was born into this world so that we might be saved. I know that Ryan knows that this is the real reason, because I overheard him (ever so sweetly) explaining it to Ella in his 5 year old terms. He was pretty right on, I must say.

The day after Christmas, James' sister and family came to visit. We enjoyed a nice lunch with them and a few hours of visiting, before they headed back home to the Adirondacks! Apparently, I didn't take any pictures during their visit!

After the New Year, we made the trip to Maine to see my family. We stopped first to see my Uncle and his wife, and then drove on to my Mom's house the following day. "Mimi" really enjoyed spending time with her grandkids, and they enjoyed spending time with her! Ryan (at one point) said the he didn't ever want to leave Mimi's house!


Mimi enjoying the time with her grandkids

Ryan was quite content to sit on the couch with Sammy (Mom has had this cat since I went off to college in 1995...whoa!)


Mimi and Ella having a morning tea party


Cheesers

We had an uneventful trip, and for that we were very thankful!

Now, we are back to reality around here. Back to school, back to work, back to...um...laundry!

The Santa Express

On Saturday, Grandpa and Grandma were gracious to buy us all tickets to climb aboard the "Santa Express" via the Cooperstown and Charlotte Valley Railway. We kept it a secret from the kids until we pulled into the train yard. Ryan started grinning as soon as he saw the train, and he didn't stop until we got back to Grandpa and Grandma's house that evening.

Grandpa, Grandma and the kids...excited to be on the train!

The train ride was a 2 hour trip from Milford to Cooperstown (and back), and along the way we got a cup of hot cocoa and some cookies, and the kids got presents from Santa Claus, himself.

Ella anticipating Santa's arrival

Ella getting her present from Santa (with a little help from Daddy)

Ella opening her gift

Ryan getting his gift from Santa

...and opening it

We really enjoyed our day together, and the snow flurries that were falling were an added bonus, and really made it quite festive.

Love at Last Sight...a review

"I don't believe in love at first sight; I believe in love at last sight. Each of my relationships has the potential to be better the next time we're together than it was the previous time so that the last time we see each other on this earth, we're closer than ever before."
-Love at Last Sight, by Kerry and Chris Shook

So, I kept my word and read this book. To say I read a chapter a day (as suggested by the authors) would be a lie, but I did keep up with my reading and only had to squeeze in extra chapters a few days here and there. Regardless, the book has been read and I am now able to give you a review (just what you have been on the edge of your seats waiting for, right?).

The book is a 30 day challenge to "grow and deepen your closest relationships." (If you missed my last post, see it below to understand why I decided to read and review this book.)

The first line in the book says "Right now, there are three relationships in your life that trouble you." In less than 30 seconds, I was able to determine who those three people were/are in my life. The challenge in this book was to consider these three relationships throughout the 30 days, and to actively try to work on those relationships through the tips/advice given in the book.
The three relationships should be those that are "key", or "essential" in your life. A close friend, a spouse, a family member, not just some acquaintance that you would like to get to know better.

The first week of the challenge talks about being present in your relationships. Kerry and Chris call it "practicing the art of being all there." With all of the technology available to us, facebook, twitter, e-mail, texting...it's easy to connect with each other, but physical presence is also important. Sure, I appreciate a phone call from a friend, or a text, and many times this is how I myself choose to communicate. However, being physically present can really show a person that they are important. Ironically, I have tried to find a time to be physically present with one of the relationships that I feel could be better, and one or the other of us always seems to have some other commitment standing in the way. I'm not sure how to get around that...but I'm going to find a way!! It certainly does take EFFORT!

The second week of the challenge is, in fact, about acting "intentionally." Kerry and Chris suggest painting a vision of what we want a relationship to become. As they say in the book, "to envision something better is rarely part of our thinking. People will say "I'll believe it when I see it." But God says, "You'll see it when you believe it," as in "We live by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7)." If you want a relationship to be better, you have to believe that it CAN be better, and then do the work to make it so.

The third week focuses on "the art of risking awkwardness." It's pushing deeper, as opposed to keeping things on a surface level. Kerry and Chris are good at pointing out the difference between love at first sight, and love at last sight. They write, "Love at first sight says that when relationships start feeling awkward, it's time to bail. Love at last sight says that when there's a problem, a silence, a rote toutine, or something not quite right in a relationship, that's precisely the time to dig in and do the hard work of risking awkward questions or uncomfortable conversations."

Finally, the fourth week of the challenge focuses on "the art of letting go." This section of the book focuses on letting go of the control that we try to have over people and situations. The book lists several of the ways that we try to control others, and gives tips on how to overcome these issues.

Personally, I cannot say that I truly have put this challenge into motion...yet. The book definitely has me thinking about relationships, and specifically the three that are at the forefront of my mind as I was reading through the book. It made me realize that I'm not content with the way these relationships are right now. It also made me realize that I need to step out of my comfort zone if these relationships are going to change. I like my comfort zone thankyouverymuch...it's, well, comfortable! But...I'm a work in progress, and I hope to start implementing some of the tips and advice that Kerry and Chris provide in this book into those key relationships. If you are struggling with a relationship in your life (and we all have SOMEONE with whom we wish our relationship was better), I would recommend this book.

Happy reading!

I'm a Crook!

OK, so I probably won't go to jail or anything, but I'm feeling a bit guilty about something.

Last spring, our church did a small group study on a book, by Kerry & Chris Shook, called "One Month to Live". To say it was life changing might be a bit over the top, as I haven't really altered the way I LIVE my life, but I have altered my perspective on many of the day to day things I deal with in my life. Appropriately titled, the book focused on the question "What if you were told you had one month to live?" Would the things that you thought mattered really matter? What would you want your legacy to be? How would you "live the dash" (picture the dash as of that on one's headstone...the time between when you were born, and when you die). The book really just emphasized what I already know...that THINGS in this life are not important, but it's the relationships in our lives that matter...that life is too short to live with regrets....that life wasn't meant to be boring, but that we were meant to live life with passion. It really was a good study.

ANYWAY...on to my guilt...

A couple of months ago, I was reading an online excerpt from their new book, "Love at Last Sight", and found where I could pre-order a FREE copy of the book by providing them with my blog address. If I were to receive the book in the mail (which I did, a few weeks later), I was to read it and write a short book review and post it to my blog...by September 30th. Uh, ok. Here's the part where I feel guilty. I diligently read the first 2 chapters of the book in the first 2 days (it is a 30 day challenge). I'm not really sure what happened between then and now, but I have not made it past the 2nd chapter. The first two chapters were really good. They were. But, here it is October 1st...and I missed the deadline. This irritates me for several reasons...#1, the chapters in the book aren't very long. #2, I got the book free because I made a COMMITMENT to read it and write about it (perhaps they planned on people not necessarily following through...but I hate breaking commitments!), and #3, it just seems to follow a nasty pattern I have fallen into of starting something and not finishing it. So...I kinda feel like I stole the book.

I do plan to read it, and I will blog about it. I'm starting the book over...today. So...on or AROUND October 30th, there WILL be a book review on "Love at Last Sight" on my blog. If you want to read an excerpt from the book yourself, you can do so here.

5 years ago

5 years ago, on September 14th, I became a Mom. I feel very blessed to have that title. I know there are many women who ache to hold a child in their arms, but who, for whatever reason, are unable to do so. I grieve for them, I really do. I grieve for them, like I grieve for the children who have parents, or a parent, who could care less about that title. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes as a Mom. Sometimes I lose my patience and take it out on the little ones that give me that title. Sometimes I question the decisions I make for my children, am I making the right ones? "Mom" is the most rewarding title I have ever held, yet it also holds the most challenges. OK, "wife" is up there, too, but for now I'm talking about being a Mom.

This little guy changed my world. I love him so much and have so enjoyed being able to watch him grow and emerge into the little boy that he is becoming. He is certainly no longer a baby. Sigh.



For his birthday this year, we invited some neighbor friends, as well as some friends from school and church, over to our house for a 'race car themed' birthday party. Unfortunately, I did not get many pictures of the party, as James and I apparently had a miscommunication about the camera...ahem...

Ryan saw a picture of this cake online when I was looking up ideas for his party, and he wanted me to make it. Oy! I'm not very clever in the cake-making/decorating department...but I do have to say that this one was pretty easy, and I was pleased with the way it came out (as was he!).





For one of the games, the kids got inside these 'race cars' that I made (from cardboard boxes) and raced across our backyard and around some traffic cones that James had borrowed from work. The kids loved the racing game...just wish I had some pictures of them actually doing it. (grumble, grumble, grumble)



Honestly, though. How did our Moms and Dads ever plan a birthday party without the internet? I mean, I googled "race car themed birthday" and stole all of my party planning ideas from someone far more clever than me. Thanks to that person for sharing with the world. My kid thought it was the best birthday party, ever!

We kept it pretty low key on Ryan's actual birthday, but he did enjoy opening some gifts from us, as well as his favorite dessert...vanilla ice cream with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and sprinkles.

Back to School

It was back to school for Ryan last week! This year he is in the 4 & 5 year old program (ReadyK) at Chenango Valley Nursery School. If I haven't mentioned it before, I will say it now...we LOVE it there! Needless to say, Ryan was pretty excited to go back. Fortunately, a couple of the kids from his class last year are in with him this year, so it has taken no time at all for him to warm up to his new class. He does have 3 new teachers this year (3 because there are 18 kids in his class!), but they are all very nice, and though they didn't teach his class last year, their faces are familiar to him.

This year is a little different, too, in that he attends school 5 days a week. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are his 'regular' preschool class, and the Tuesday and Thursday sessions are his "Literacy" days. The Literacy portion of the class is a little more advanced, and helps the kids with literacy related activities. Ryan isn't a kid who loves to write. This year they will be helping the kids with writing their first and last names. In addition, they will be learning some sight words, and focusing on those early reading skills. All of the information is presented in a fun way, and it is never forced upon the child. I think it will be good for him.

Here he is on the first day...ready to get going!



Ella is not a happy camper when we have to leave Ryan at school. She thinks she should be able to stay, too. I, however, am enjoying my alone time with just her and am trying to cherish every moment, as next year it will be her turn. They are both growing up so fast.