"I don't believe in love at first sight; I believe in love at last sight. Each of my relationships has the potential to be better the next time we're together than it was the previous time so that the last time we see each other on this earth, we're closer than ever before."
-Love at Last Sight, by Kerry and Chris Shook
So, I kept my word and read this book. To say I read a chapter a day (as suggested by the authors) would be a lie, but I did keep up with my reading and only had to squeeze in extra chapters a few days here and there. Regardless, the book has been read and I am now able to give you a review (just what you have been on the edge of your seats waiting for, right?).
The book is a 30 day challenge to "grow and deepen your closest relationships." (If you missed my last post, see it below to understand why I decided to read and review this book.)
The first line in the book says "Right now, there are three relationships in your life that trouble you." In less than 30 seconds, I was able to determine who those three people were/are in my life. The challenge in this book was to consider these three relationships throughout the 30 days, and to actively try to work on those relationships through the tips/advice given in the book.
The three relationships should be those that are "key", or "essential" in your life. A close friend, a spouse, a family member, not just some acquaintance that you would like to get to know better.
The first week of the challenge talks about being present in your relationships. Kerry and Chris call it "practicing the art of being all there." With all of the technology available to us, facebook, twitter, e-mail, texting...it's easy to connect with each other, but physical presence is also important. Sure, I appreciate a phone call from a friend, or a text, and many times this is how I myself choose to communicate. However, being physically present can really show a person that they are important. Ironically, I have tried to find a time to be physically present with one of the relationships that I feel could be better, and one or the other of us always seems to have some other commitment standing in the way. I'm not sure how to get around that...but I'm going to find a way!! It certainly does take EFFORT!
The second week of the challenge is, in fact, about acting "intentionally." Kerry and Chris suggest painting a vision of what we want a relationship to become. As they say in the book, "to envision something better is rarely part of our thinking. People will say "I'll believe it when I see it." But God says, "You'll see it when you believe it," as in "We live by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7)." If you want a relationship to be better, you have to believe that it CAN be better, and then do the work to make it so.
The third week focuses on "the art of risking awkwardness." It's pushing deeper, as opposed to keeping things on a surface level. Kerry and Chris are good at pointing out the difference between love at first sight, and love at last sight. They write, "Love at first sight says that when relationships start feeling awkward, it's time to bail. Love at last sight says that when there's a problem, a silence, a rote toutine, or something not quite right in a relationship, that's precisely the time to dig in and do the hard work of risking awkward questions or uncomfortable conversations."
Finally, the fourth week of the challenge focuses on "the art of letting go." This section of the book focuses on letting go of the control that we try to have over people and situations. The book lists several of the ways that we try to control others, and gives tips on how to overcome these issues.
Personally, I cannot say that I truly have put this challenge into motion...yet. The book definitely has me thinking about relationships, and specifically the three that are at the forefront of my mind as I was reading through the book. It made me realize that I'm not content with the way these relationships are right now. It also made me realize that I need to step out of my comfort zone if these relationships are going to change. I like my comfort zone thankyouverymuch...it's, well, comfortable! But...I'm a work in progress, and I hope to start implementing some of the tips and advice that Kerry and Chris provide in this book into those key relationships. If you are struggling with a relationship in your life (and we all have SOMEONE with whom we wish our relationship was better), I would recommend this book.
Happy reading!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
I'm a Crook!
OK, so I probably won't go to jail or anything, but I'm feeling a bit guilty about something.
Last spring, our church did a small group study on a book, by Kerry & Chris Shook, called "One Month to Live". To say it was life changing might be a bit over the top, as I haven't really altered the way I LIVE my life, but I have altered my perspective on many of the day to day things I deal with in my life. Appropriately titled, the book focused on the question "What if you were told you had one month to live?" Would the things that you thought mattered really matter? What would you want your legacy to be? How would you "live the dash" (picture the dash as of that on one's headstone...the time between when you were born, and when you die). The book really just emphasized what I already know...that THINGS in this life are not important, but it's the relationships in our lives that matter...that life is too short to live with regrets....that life wasn't meant to be boring, but that we were meant to live life with passion. It really was a good study.
ANYWAY...on to my guilt...
A couple of months ago, I was reading an online excerpt from their new book, "Love at Last Sight", and found where I could pre-order a FREE copy of the book by providing them with my blog address. If I were to receive the book in the mail (which I did, a few weeks later), I was to read it and write a short book review and post it to my blog...by September 30th. Uh, ok. Here's the part where I feel guilty. I diligently read the first 2 chapters of the book in the first 2 days (it is a 30 day challenge). I'm not really sure what happened between then and now, but I have not made it past the 2nd chapter. The first two chapters were really good. They were. But, here it is October 1st...and I missed the deadline. This irritates me for several reasons...#1, the chapters in the book aren't very long. #2, I got the book free because I made a COMMITMENT to read it and write about it (perhaps they planned on people not necessarily following through...but I hate breaking commitments!), and #3, it just seems to follow a nasty pattern I have fallen into of starting something and not finishing it. So...I kinda feel like I stole the book.
I do plan to read it, and I will blog about it. I'm starting the book over...today. So...on or AROUND October 30th, there WILL be a book review on "Love at Last Sight" on my blog. If you want to read an excerpt from the book yourself, you can do so here.
Last spring, our church did a small group study on a book, by Kerry & Chris Shook, called "One Month to Live". To say it was life changing might be a bit over the top, as I haven't really altered the way I LIVE my life, but I have altered my perspective on many of the day to day things I deal with in my life. Appropriately titled, the book focused on the question "What if you were told you had one month to live?" Would the things that you thought mattered really matter? What would you want your legacy to be? How would you "live the dash" (picture the dash as of that on one's headstone...the time between when you were born, and when you die). The book really just emphasized what I already know...that THINGS in this life are not important, but it's the relationships in our lives that matter...that life is too short to live with regrets....that life wasn't meant to be boring, but that we were meant to live life with passion. It really was a good study.
ANYWAY...on to my guilt...
A couple of months ago, I was reading an online excerpt from their new book, "Love at Last Sight", and found where I could pre-order a FREE copy of the book by providing them with my blog address. If I were to receive the book in the mail (which I did, a few weeks later), I was to read it and write a short book review and post it to my blog...by September 30th. Uh, ok. Here's the part where I feel guilty. I diligently read the first 2 chapters of the book in the first 2 days (it is a 30 day challenge). I'm not really sure what happened between then and now, but I have not made it past the 2nd chapter. The first two chapters were really good. They were. But, here it is October 1st...and I missed the deadline. This irritates me for several reasons...#1, the chapters in the book aren't very long. #2, I got the book free because I made a COMMITMENT to read it and write about it (perhaps they planned on people not necessarily following through...but I hate breaking commitments!), and #3, it just seems to follow a nasty pattern I have fallen into of starting something and not finishing it. So...I kinda feel like I stole the book.
I do plan to read it, and I will blog about it. I'm starting the book over...today. So...on or AROUND October 30th, there WILL be a book review on "Love at Last Sight" on my blog. If you want to read an excerpt from the book yourself, you can do so here.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
5 years ago
5 years ago, on September 14th, I became a Mom. I feel very blessed to have that title. I know there are many women who ache to hold a child in their arms, but who, for whatever reason, are unable to do so. I grieve for them, I really do. I grieve for them, like I grieve for the children who have parents, or a parent, who could care less about that title. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes as a Mom. Sometimes I lose my patience and take it out on the little ones that give me that title. Sometimes I question the decisions I make for my children, am I making the right ones? "Mom" is the most rewarding title I have ever held, yet it also holds the most challenges. OK, "wife" is up there, too, but for now I'm talking about being a Mom.
This little guy changed my world. I love him so much and have so enjoyed being able to watch him grow and emerge into the little boy that he is becoming. He is certainly no longer a baby. Sigh.
For his birthday this year, we invited some neighbor friends, as well as some friends from school and church, over to our house for a 'race car themed' birthday party. Unfortunately, I did not get many pictures of the party, as James and I apparently had a miscommunication about the camera...ahem...
Ryan saw a picture of this cake online when I was looking up ideas for his party, and he wanted me to make it. Oy! I'm not very clever in the cake-making/decorating department...but I do have to say that this one was pretty easy, and I was pleased with the way it came out (as was he!).
For one of the games, the kids got inside these 'race cars' that I made (from cardboard boxes) and raced across our backyard and around some traffic cones that James had borrowed from work. The kids loved the racing game...just wish I had some pictures of them actually doing it. (grumble, grumble, grumble)
Honestly, though. How did our Moms and Dads ever plan a birthday party without the internet? I mean, I googled "race car themed birthday" and stole all of my party planning ideas from someone far more clever than me. Thanks to that person for sharing with the world. My kid thought it was the best birthday party, ever!
We kept it pretty low key on Ryan's actual birthday, but he did enjoy opening some gifts from us, as well as his favorite dessert...vanilla ice cream with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and sprinkles.
This little guy changed my world. I love him so much and have so enjoyed being able to watch him grow and emerge into the little boy that he is becoming. He is certainly no longer a baby. Sigh.
For his birthday this year, we invited some neighbor friends, as well as some friends from school and church, over to our house for a 'race car themed' birthday party. Unfortunately, I did not get many pictures of the party, as James and I apparently had a miscommunication about the camera...ahem...
Ryan saw a picture of this cake online when I was looking up ideas for his party, and he wanted me to make it. Oy! I'm not very clever in the cake-making/decorating department...but I do have to say that this one was pretty easy, and I was pleased with the way it came out (as was he!).
For one of the games, the kids got inside these 'race cars' that I made (from cardboard boxes) and raced across our backyard and around some traffic cones that James had borrowed from work. The kids loved the racing game...just wish I had some pictures of them actually doing it. (grumble, grumble, grumble)
Honestly, though. How did our Moms and Dads ever plan a birthday party without the internet? I mean, I googled "race car themed birthday" and stole all of my party planning ideas from someone far more clever than me. Thanks to that person for sharing with the world. My kid thought it was the best birthday party, ever!
We kept it pretty low key on Ryan's actual birthday, but he did enjoy opening some gifts from us, as well as his favorite dessert...vanilla ice cream with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and sprinkles.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Back to School
It was back to school for Ryan last week! This year he is in the 4 & 5 year old program (ReadyK) at Chenango Valley Nursery School. If I haven't mentioned it before, I will say it now...we LOVE it there! Needless to say, Ryan was pretty excited to go back. Fortunately, a couple of the kids from his class last year are in with him this year, so it has taken no time at all for him to warm up to his new class. He does have 3 new teachers this year (3 because there are 18 kids in his class!), but they are all very nice, and though they didn't teach his class last year, their faces are familiar to him.
This year is a little different, too, in that he attends school 5 days a week. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are his 'regular' preschool class, and the Tuesday and Thursday sessions are his "Literacy" days. The Literacy portion of the class is a little more advanced, and helps the kids with literacy related activities. Ryan isn't a kid who loves to write. This year they will be helping the kids with writing their first and last names. In addition, they will be learning some sight words, and focusing on those early reading skills. All of the information is presented in a fun way, and it is never forced upon the child. I think it will be good for him.
Here he is on the first day...ready to get going!
Ella is not a happy camper when we have to leave Ryan at school. She thinks she should be able to stay, too. I, however, am enjoying my alone time with just her and am trying to cherish every moment, as next year it will be her turn. They are both growing up so fast.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Vacation to the Outer Banks
Fortunately for us (not so fortunately for others who went after us), we were blessed with a week of beautiful weather for our vacation to the Outer Banks. Hurricane Earl swept through the very week AFTER we were there. Whew!
We went in on renting a house with some friends of ours , Brian and Beth, from Winston-Salem. It was great to catch up with them, and to meet their little girl (as they were always very adament about NOT having children...ha!) Madison, who is now just over a year and 1/2. The kids had fun together, though I'm not sure who had more fun...them, or Beth!
This is the first vacation we have taken as a family and we had a great time! The only downfall to the whole week was that James ended up with food poisoning and was miserably sick for about 12 hours. I'm SURE he could have done without that, but thankfully it was an isolated event and the rest of us were fine. When he first started throwing up (on Tuesday), my mind went to the stomach virus that plagued us a couple of years ago. We were SO sick...all of us, that time!
Ryan's swimming lessons certainly paid off, as he spent every afternoon in the pool at our rental house. He had a blast jumping in and swimming around and around that pool. Ella quite enjoyed it, too...though for some reason she was only comfortable with James holding her in the pool. She wanted NOTHING to do with me.
This was the first trip to the beach for both of our kids. Growing up in Maine, I spent many summers going to the beach and sticking my feet in the (much COLDER than NC) waters of the Atlantic. I was so excited to watch their faces as they saw the ocean for the first time. It still takes my breath away!
We, of course, brought many sand pails and shovels for building sandcastles, and Ella was quite fond of finding seashells and sticking them in her pockets.
The first day we went to the beach, there were TONS of jellyfish washed up on the sand. I have never seen one up close, and at first, I didn't realize what it was. The lifeguard told us that the ones that were clear were harmless (dead), but to be careful of the ones with the brown and black spots on them...they sting! These things were ALL over the place. So much, that we didn't let the kids get in the water that first day (nor did we spend much time walking by the water). As you can see, this one was very much alive.
Less than a mile from our house was a fun little plaza that had bumper cars, mini golf, homemade ice cream shops, and lots of unique little gift shops. We hit it all. This was also the first time we took the kids to play mini golf. Ryan did pretty well...Ella, well, she IS only 2!
One of the highlights, for me (you know, besides spending an entire week with my family), was DRIVING on the beach to look at wild horses. James was kind of like "big deal", but I thought it was amazing. The 4 wheel drive section of the Outer Banks is located just a few miles from Corolla, which is the town where we stayed. There are some gorgeous homes in that area, but no roads. When they say you need 4 wheel drive to get out there, they aren't kidding! At any rate, there is a limited population of these Spanish mustangs and there is actually a law that you cannot get within 50 feet of them. We got close enough to snap a few pics. Just amazing.
The pavement literally just ends...and there's the beach
It was a wonderful end to a very busy summer. We hope to be able to do it again next year!
We went in on renting a house with some friends of ours , Brian and Beth, from Winston-Salem. It was great to catch up with them, and to meet their little girl (as they were always very adament about NOT having children...ha!) Madison, who is now just over a year and 1/2. The kids had fun together, though I'm not sure who had more fun...them, or Beth!
This is the first vacation we have taken as a family and we had a great time! The only downfall to the whole week was that James ended up with food poisoning and was miserably sick for about 12 hours. I'm SURE he could have done without that, but thankfully it was an isolated event and the rest of us were fine. When he first started throwing up (on Tuesday), my mind went to the stomach virus that plagued us a couple of years ago. We were SO sick...all of us, that time!
Ryan's swimming lessons certainly paid off, as he spent every afternoon in the pool at our rental house. He had a blast jumping in and swimming around and around that pool. Ella quite enjoyed it, too...though for some reason she was only comfortable with James holding her in the pool. She wanted NOTHING to do with me.
This was the first trip to the beach for both of our kids. Growing up in Maine, I spent many summers going to the beach and sticking my feet in the (much COLDER than NC) waters of the Atlantic. I was so excited to watch their faces as they saw the ocean for the first time. It still takes my breath away!
We, of course, brought many sand pails and shovels for building sandcastles, and Ella was quite fond of finding seashells and sticking them in her pockets.
The first day we went to the beach, there were TONS of jellyfish washed up on the sand. I have never seen one up close, and at first, I didn't realize what it was. The lifeguard told us that the ones that were clear were harmless (dead), but to be careful of the ones with the brown and black spots on them...they sting! These things were ALL over the place. So much, that we didn't let the kids get in the water that first day (nor did we spend much time walking by the water). As you can see, this one was very much alive.
Less than a mile from our house was a fun little plaza that had bumper cars, mini golf, homemade ice cream shops, and lots of unique little gift shops. We hit it all. This was also the first time we took the kids to play mini golf. Ryan did pretty well...Ella, well, she IS only 2!
One of the highlights, for me (you know, besides spending an entire week with my family), was DRIVING on the beach to look at wild horses. James was kind of like "big deal", but I thought it was amazing. The 4 wheel drive section of the Outer Banks is located just a few miles from Corolla, which is the town where we stayed. There are some gorgeous homes in that area, but no roads. When they say you need 4 wheel drive to get out there, they aren't kidding! At any rate, there is a limited population of these Spanish mustangs and there is actually a law that you cannot get within 50 feet of them. We got close enough to snap a few pics. Just amazing.
The pavement literally just ends...and there's the beach
It was a wonderful end to a very busy summer. We hope to be able to do it again next year!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Happy Birthday, sweet Ella!
2 years old! I can't believe it! I know, I say that with both kids, with every birthday, but seriously! These kids are growing up right before my very eyes!
We had a fun day celebrating Ella! We went to a local park where there is a man-made (I believe) lake and a sandy area for the kids to play. James and I didn't bring our suits, as we weren't sure what to expect, but the kids had so much fun in the water!
After, we went home and Ella opened her presents (with help from her big brother, of course!). We had dinner and then cupcakes for dessert. Oreo cupcakes, that were pretty much amazing! We are celebrating again this weekend with a family party. My Mom is flying in on Wednesday, and James' family will join us on Saturday. No question that Ella is loved!
Oh, sweet Ella. I love being your Mom and watching you grow. I'm so thankful for the 'ordinary days' that we have together. I love your squeezes and snuggles, your giggles and being able to wipe your tears when you're sad. I love your strong personality and hope that we can steer you in the right direction to use it wisely. You have a voice, and you want to be heard, and boy, some days do we hear you! You have so many words these days...you even put whole sentences together! I love that after hearing Ryan pray before meals, that you have started whispering some of the words (since he uses the same ones every time) under your breath. I pray you will have a heart for God, and that He will bless you richly. He has blessed ME richly by allowing me to be your Mom. I love you so much. Happy Birthday!
We had a fun day celebrating Ella! We went to a local park where there is a man-made (I believe) lake and a sandy area for the kids to play. James and I didn't bring our suits, as we weren't sure what to expect, but the kids had so much fun in the water!
After, we went home and Ella opened her presents (with help from her big brother, of course!). We had dinner and then cupcakes for dessert. Oreo cupcakes, that were pretty much amazing! We are celebrating again this weekend with a family party. My Mom is flying in on Wednesday, and James' family will join us on Saturday. No question that Ella is loved!
Oh, sweet Ella. I love being your Mom and watching you grow. I'm so thankful for the 'ordinary days' that we have together. I love your squeezes and snuggles, your giggles and being able to wipe your tears when you're sad. I love your strong personality and hope that we can steer you in the right direction to use it wisely. You have a voice, and you want to be heard, and boy, some days do we hear you! You have so many words these days...you even put whole sentences together! I love that after hearing Ryan pray before meals, that you have started whispering some of the words (since he uses the same ones every time) under your breath. I pray you will have a heart for God, and that He will bless you richly. He has blessed ME richly by allowing me to be your Mom. I love you so much. Happy Birthday!
A little of this and a little of that...
Boy, summer has been busy for us, so far! Since I haven't updated in over a month, I thought I would do an update, picture style, so you can see a little of what we've been up to!
The last week in June, we went to Maine. James went on his annual fishing trip, while the kids and I went to visit my Mom. We had a great time, and spent a great afternoon at the lake...where I took lots of great pictures...then lost them all from my card as I tried to upload them to my Mom's computer (that had a worm). UGH! Anyway...
Our neighbor has two grown girls, both of which were not happy when she said she was going to sell their childhood play house. SO--we are 'borrowing' it while the kids are little, so that she can get it out of her yard and so that she doesn't have to actually sell it before they are ready for her to do so. Bonus for us!! The kids LOVE it, as you will see...
Cheeeeese!
Ryan peeking out the window
Ella peeking
With the really hot weather we have been having (upper 90s, some days), we got out the whale pool, filled it up, and let the kids go nuts. Well, they didn't actually go nuts because they seemed more interested in the pastel play house! Ha!
Ryan in the whale pool!
Splashin' fun!
When not in the play house, or in the whale pool, the kids can be found riding (and falling off) bikes and drawing on the driveway with chalk.
Our cute little driveway artist
Ponytails (or attempts at them) are a must on hot days! The unruly curls don't allow it all to stay in place!
One must stay hydrated, of course!
4th of July weekend, we went to see the Yankees play in New York. It was our first trip to the new stadium and it was pretty impressive! The Yanks won the game, though most of the action occurred in the 3rd inning (11 runs were scored in ONE inning!!). We stayed with our friends Joe and Karyllan in New Jersey for the night and had a great time!
Take me out to the ball game!
James and Joe--a buddy from high school days
The following weekend, our friends Matt and Tara and their two kids came for an overnight visit on their way home from visiting Tara's parents in northern NY. Apparently I forgot to take pictures of that, but the kids had a great time. Their son's name is Noah, and for some reason, Ryan kept calling him "vanilla". Cracked us up.
Today, Ryan started swimming lessons. I was so proud to see him venture down to the pool (without me) on the heels of one of his friends who is in his 'class'. He was a little timid in the water, but did everything he was asked to do. I imagine by the end of the 3 weeks of lessons, he will be pretty comfortable in the pool.
Looking to make sure I'm watching
Feeling a bit more comfortable the second time around
We are enjoying summer, thus far, and hope to continue on the same path for the rest of it!
The last week in June, we went to Maine. James went on his annual fishing trip, while the kids and I went to visit my Mom. We had a great time, and spent a great afternoon at the lake...where I took lots of great pictures...then lost them all from my card as I tried to upload them to my Mom's computer (that had a worm). UGH! Anyway...
Our neighbor has two grown girls, both of which were not happy when she said she was going to sell their childhood play house. SO--we are 'borrowing' it while the kids are little, so that she can get it out of her yard and so that she doesn't have to actually sell it before they are ready for her to do so. Bonus for us!! The kids LOVE it, as you will see...
Cheeeeese!
Ryan peeking out the window
Ella peeking
With the really hot weather we have been having (upper 90s, some days), we got out the whale pool, filled it up, and let the kids go nuts. Well, they didn't actually go nuts because they seemed more interested in the pastel play house! Ha!
Ryan in the whale pool!
Splashin' fun!
When not in the play house, or in the whale pool, the kids can be found riding (and falling off) bikes and drawing on the driveway with chalk.
Our cute little driveway artist
Ponytails (or attempts at them) are a must on hot days! The unruly curls don't allow it all to stay in place!
One must stay hydrated, of course!
4th of July weekend, we went to see the Yankees play in New York. It was our first trip to the new stadium and it was pretty impressive! The Yanks won the game, though most of the action occurred in the 3rd inning (11 runs were scored in ONE inning!!). We stayed with our friends Joe and Karyllan in New Jersey for the night and had a great time!
Take me out to the ball game!
James and Joe--a buddy from high school days
The following weekend, our friends Matt and Tara and their two kids came for an overnight visit on their way home from visiting Tara's parents in northern NY. Apparently I forgot to take pictures of that, but the kids had a great time. Their son's name is Noah, and for some reason, Ryan kept calling him "vanilla". Cracked us up.
Today, Ryan started swimming lessons. I was so proud to see him venture down to the pool (without me) on the heels of one of his friends who is in his 'class'. He was a little timid in the water, but did everything he was asked to do. I imagine by the end of the 3 weeks of lessons, he will be pretty comfortable in the pool.
Looking to make sure I'm watching
Feeling a bit more comfortable the second time around
We are enjoying summer, thus far, and hope to continue on the same path for the rest of it!
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